Anxiously Waiting!!

I am finally starting this blog because I definitely want to have a place to show everyone our pictures of our family. Especially our soon to be born son, Riley!! I am so excited about his arrival. And a little nervous. Also, I'm nervous about how our whole lives are going to change. Actually, I'm not nervous about that part, more anxious and excited. But, I am nervous about going back to work after my maternity leave is up. We don't want me going back to work and actually I'm not sure I'll be able to because someone will need to take care of Riley and Todd won't be able to do that and keep the farm up too. I want to be a stay at home mom so bad. I want to take that huge leap of faith and trust God to provide. Todd does too except he wants more assurance before taking a small leap of faith if that makes sense. And, I understand where he's coming from but God will work everything out and I know that. I mean, if I had to find childcare for Riley, we couldn't afford it. And, Todd can't watch Riley and take care of working the farm to make it grow as a functional profitable business. I mean, Riley will need constant attention and not that Todd doesn't want to do that. I know he is more than willing. He absolutely can't wait till he gets here either. So, the dilemma is, what will happen when my maternity leave is up. And, should we just go ahead before my maternity leave starts and tell them that I won't be back. But, is that speaking too soon. I just don't know what we should do. I know that the farm isn't making any money at this point. It hopefully will in the fall because of the Fall CSA program if anyone signs up. And, then going to the farmer's market to sell what we have left over after the CSA shares every week. I really pray that the CSA program does really well this fall.