Riley at 5 months!!

I thought I'd share this small video of Riley we took this week.  He is so adorable!

Riley At 5 Months Old from Shady Creek on Vimeo.

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Back Again!

Here's that picture I promised to post.  This is Riley, our little boy, in late January.  He is so precious!

He is thriving on the Weston A Price raw cow's milk baby formula recipe!  I love being able to feed my baby good nutritional food even though I can't breastfeed him.  

Todd and I are struggling to find a balance between taking care of Riley and working on the farm and working my daily job.  It's hard.  It's hard to be able to find the time we need to work on the farm without worrying about who's watching Riley.  The farm really needs both of us on Saturdays and it needs his full attention Monday through Friday.  We're trying.  But we're always making a compromise when we really need to work our butts off on the farm.

Anyways, guess I'll write more later.

Marnita

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Consignment Shopping

I went to a couple of consignment sales over the last couple of weeks. I love going to consignment sales. They are so much fun. You never know what you'll find. We mostly bought adorably cute name brand clothes for Riley. I bought a sling for me to carry Riley in. Also, we got a couple of New Balance shoes for Riley. But mostly, we bought clothes. Between my mom and myself, we probably spent about $200 at two different consignment sales. Oh, and my mom bought us a crib bedding set also in that amount. We really got a lot out of those two sales. I can't wait till the next consignment sale comes up at the end of February. Actually, I can't wait to get to be with my baby in about a month. I am so looking forward to dressing him up in all the little outfits. I know I can't fully grasp how our lives are about to change. It's so amazing when you think about it. But, still, we just don't fully understand it yet. This little life will depend soley on us for it's survival. That so scares the daylights out of me and also makes me so humbled that God would allow us to raise this child for Him.

Todd was telling me that his stomach was tore up because of nerves. I asked him why. He told me it was because I am getting close to the labor and delivery part of this pregnancy. It's so funny because sometimes I think he's thinking about that part way more than I am. Not that I'm not. But, it's funny because I'm the one that's going to be having the baby but I also know that he doesn't want to see me go through all the pain. He is so sweet and caring. Anyways, until next time.

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Trusting God and being a worry wort

Ya know, I'm so excited about becoming a mother. This whole process is so amazing. Of course it is, right? God created it. You start out with this teeny tiny little thing inside of you that you hardly even realize is there. And it starts to grow and as it grows, your love for it does too. And when you start to feel the baby wiggling around in there, it makes it even more real and so amazing that you have this wonderful little baby growing inside of you. I know people say that you never knew you could love someone this much but I don't see it quite the same. It's like, I never knew I could love someone without first getting to know them. And, I guess, I am getting to know him. But in a very different way.

And, I guess that's why I don't ever want to have to leave him. Not for one second, much less for 8 or 9 hours a day. I can't imagine the day that I'll have to go back to work. I want to have faith that God will provide for us and I won't have to go back to work after having the baby. I just don't think that is a possibility. I pray that it is though. Sometimes, I just don't think I have enough faith. And, I know that is where God comes in. I'll never be good enough, have enough faith. That's where He gives me what I can't give myself. He gives me enough faith to get through everything I'm going through. Sometimes I get sidetracked. I focus on so many other things besides what I need to be focusing on. God.

I know. I'm rambling about everything. I just had to put into words what I'm feeling. I want so bad to be able to be a stay at home mom. But, where we stand right now, I definitely can't. The farm isn't making money and we are just getting by, by the grace of God. When the fall vegetables start coming in and Todd is selling them at the farmer's market, then things may change. But Todd isn't going to just take a leap of faith before any of that starts to happen. And, I feel bad even thinking about not coming back after taking maternity leave. But, maybe things will change in the next couple of weeks. I can only hope so. It worries me so much though because I want to be able to buy my child clothes if he needs them or whatever. I am so worried but I know I'm only stressing myself out this much because I'm pregnant. I can't just buy stuff for the baby now and I have a job. What will it be like if I don't have a job? And, I want/need to buy the baby clothes or something cute? Anyways, this is me worrying and going crazy even before the baby arrives. Thanks for listening.

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Thinking about Riley again!!

It seems that all I can think about now is the baby. Sometimes not because I'm so excited but because I'm worried or nervous about finances or about staying at home instead of going back to work. But, I think I'm finally sliding out of that funk. I am really getting excited about the baby coming. I wish he were already here in my arms.

Oh, and I'm getting really excited about the baby because I'm going to cloth diaper Riley! Yes, you heard me right. I think I've decided I'm going to use chinese prefold diapers and diaper covers. I definitely think Thirsties diaper covers are the cutest. I can't wait to see them on Riley.

Here's a picture of the diaper covers. They are so cute!!!

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Anxiously Waiting!!

I am finally starting this blog because I definitely want to have a place to show everyone our pictures of our family. Especially our soon to be born son, Riley!! I am so excited about his arrival. And a little nervous. Also, I'm nervous about how our whole lives are going to change. Actually, I'm not nervous about that part, more anxious and excited. But, I am nervous about going back to work after my maternity leave is up. We don't want me going back to work and actually I'm not sure I'll be able to because someone will need to take care of Riley and Todd won't be able to do that and keep the farm up too. I want to be a stay at home mom so bad. I want to take that huge leap of faith and trust God to provide. Todd does too except he wants more assurance before taking a small leap of faith if that makes sense. And, I understand where he's coming from but God will work everything out and I know that. I mean, if I had to find childcare for Riley, we couldn't afford it. And, Todd can't watch Riley and take care of working the farm to make it grow as a functional profitable business. I mean, Riley will need constant attention and not that Todd doesn't want to do that. I know he is more than willing. He absolutely can't wait till he gets here either. So, the dilemma is, what will happen when my maternity leave is up. And, should we just go ahead before my maternity leave starts and tell them that I won't be back. But, is that speaking too soon. I just don't know what we should do. I know that the farm isn't making any money at this point. It hopefully will in the fall because of the Fall CSA program if anyone signs up. And, then going to the farmer's market to sell what we have left over after the CSA shares every week. I really pray that the CSA program does really well this fall.

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